I mean I wonder what my parents think.

They never expected to have such a shitty daughter.

I’m constantly letting people down. I’m done.

I never thought I would grow up to become this.

I’ve been putting off a lot of the things I want to do until the summer of 2013. 

Then I’ll be eighteen, I would’ve had my license for months by then, I’ll have all the freedom in the world, and possibly a lot of money if things work out. That’s when I’m going to let loose completely and just live for once without worrying about every single thing.

I want to get down to 130lbs.

Honestly, for my height it’s an extremely unhealthy weight and I shouldn’t even be looking to do that. But if I can just lose 50 pounds by the end of this year I’ll be satisfied. Then I’ll just see what happens from there, hopefully I’ll just continue to lose more and push past my goal.

Next week my mom is putting everyone in the house on a diet. This all started because I said I refuse to go on senior trip to Disney World if I’m still fat. So now she’s making everyone drink only water and go to the gym or running daily. I appreciate the effort, I just feel like I’m causing my entire family discomfort just because I’m not happy with my weight.